The ‘Dibs’ Factor
June 4th, 2008 . by ErinIt all started with a story. My friend Kirbi from work began telling us this story about how her friend Steph (I changed the name to protect the innocent) had received a text message from one of their guy friends that said something like ‘Hey, do you have dibs on Steph?’ Obviously the text had been sent to the wrong person. But one thing did make itself apparent…. The ‘dibs’ factor is still alive and well. Personally I thought the ‘dibs’ factor ended in high school. Wrong!
I have been bitten in the butt from the ‘dibs’ factor on more then one occasion. The most frustrating thing for a girl such as myself is to have a crush on a guy and have that guy not make a single move because one of his buddies has already called dibs. It doesn’t matter if the guy you like likes you back because he’s never going to make a move until the ‘dibs’ is lifted. He doesn’t want to step on his friend’s toes and he doesn’t want to ruin a good friendship. That’s cool, I get that, but after it is apparent that the girl (who should have a say in the matter) doesn’t return the affections the ‘dibs’ should become null and void. About 4 and a half years ago I had a guy friend call dibs on me when it was his roommate that made my heart skip a beat. Unfortunately the dibs had been placed leaving me completely screwed with no chance of recovery. I was extremely frustrated because he never lifted the dibs even after it was more then apparent after the first and ONLY date that I didn’t return his affections … stupid stupid stupid!
I think (and this goes for both genders) once the declaration of affection has been made, I think you should do something about it, and if it doesn’t work then I think you should back off. Now if there is someone you are interested in and they like you back but you are just not quite ready to date them, but you have every intention of doing something about it, you should beware of others who just swoop right in. It’s the ‘You snooze, you lose’ factor, and that sucks even more. When that happens, all you can do is slap on a happy face and deal with it. It still sucks… especially if you have to watch them date but I guess all’s fair in love and war right?
The fact is that Girls have an even more strict rule. The Rule of First. Whatever girl you ask first is who you are stuck with no matter how much you fall for a roommate or friend the Iron Curtain has fallen the LoveBoat has set sail and the only other cruise leaving is the FriendShip and trust me the catering sucks and the activites are shuffle board and table tennis!
I am with you Erin, I have been screwed by the dibs factor many times. It’s like Brian Regan saying “I call this chair.” “Yes, we all do Brian,” except we all don’t. We can’t. Even if it’s clear to us guys that the girl likes us more than our buddy, it’s a no go. It sucks.