Erin The Great

There you are… you pull up to a grocery store; you get out of your car. You ignore the panhandlers and the liberals trying to get you to sign some petition to ban something that you have no interest in. (ok, maybe that last one was an ‘Oregon’ exclusive) You walk in with a few items on your mind and as you wander around the store you find yourself wondering where in all of the great space of heaven are these objects even located? Most of the times you can find what you are looking for by thinking ok I need cereal, that’s got to be in the cereal isle. I’m looking for fruit ok produce section. What happens when you’re looking for a miscellaneous object like Marshmallows? Where would you categorize that? Baked goods? The junk food isle? All of a sudden your world comes crashing down as you realize that the store seems to have been arranged by a drunken lunatic! Where the heck are the marshmallows?

Such an occurrence happened to me yesterday when I went to the store with a few friends to get some items for a barbeque today. The stuff I needed was easy… soy and teriyaki sauce, hello ethnic foods isle! For my friend unfortunately it was not so quick and painless. First we entered a think tank… where could they be? As we searched though our options, our options being in the junk food isle or in the baked goods isle, we thought hey, how about by the peanut butter and jelly? It’s in neither of the other two isles it’s got to be there! We searched but no avail! After our embarrassing display of confusion and the inability to find marshmallows we started up and down ever isle. For all we knew, the drunken lunatic who organized the store probably stuck them by all the automotive stuff. After looking and looking we finally found them! To our ironic surprise we found them sitting in the ‘canned vegetables and condiments’ isle… What the? Yeah, because clearly nothing says marshmallows like canned tomatoes and mayo!